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There's been a lot of chatter this week about a certain recently married celebrity who also happens to be middle-aged but hasn't had any kids yet. Are kids going to happen ever? At this point, the tabloid fascination is out of control, and it all makes us feel very bad for George Clooney. Yes, Clooney: The baby speculation just won't stop. Here, 16 recent storylines Clooney's had to face about his pregnancy status. Because when you're a middle-aged, recently married, famously childless celebrity, the press just can't control their obsession with whether you're planning to parent or not, and there's nothing that you can change to make them lay off you*.
(*except, gender)
Patting his belly...signaling he's EXPECTING A BABY SOON?!
He looks tan...like he just went on a BABYMOON?!
We can't say that book's definitely a copy of What to Expect When Your Wife's Expecting because that's slander ...but we also can't definitely say that it's not.
Listening to his wife but looking lost in thought, probably ABOUT BABY THINGS.
Drinking Casamigos tequila to celebrate the impending CLOONEY BABY.
"How did you know I was EXPECTING A BABY SOON?"
Carrying a backpack. A backpack full of BABY THINGS?!
Our body language expert says, "This is a classic example of the bro-to-bro neck touch greeting. 9 times out of 10, the bro-to-bro neck touch communicates that the bro whose neck is being touched is expecting a baby soon."
His anger can only be for one reason that we want to print: Someone insulted his future parenting skills.
One last fast food binge. You know, because he's HAVING A BABY SOON.
Stoic and serious...like the face of a responsible person HAVING A BABY SOON?!
It might look like he's responding to texts or reading emails, but our resident body language expert confirms it: The only thing George could possibly be doing on that phone is ordering bottle warmers and a diaper genie off Amazon Prime.
Patting his belly again?! George, we thought you'd be a little less obvious about your current pregnancy.
Carrying papers...BABY-RELATED PAPERS?!
Toting reusable shopping bags...like a person who's HAVING A BABY SOON so they've gotten all eco-conscious and responsible.
Whispering sweet nothings things about babies.
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